our little man

11.13.2007

dear benjamin

it is truly staggering to think that almost exactly one year ago, your father and i were sitting in the living room, timing contractions, and wondering if we were going to get any sleep before our scheduled induction the next morning. of course, contractions or not, we were both so excited and anxious to meet you that we weren't going to get a sound night anyhow. i remember lying in bed thinking about how much our lives were going to change once you arrived... and also about how lucky we were to be completing our family and finally welcoming you.

i remember looking into your face for the very first time and finding the most beautiful baby boy i had ever seen. you had thoughtful eyes, from the very beginning, and carefully observed everything around you. you have spent your entire first year continuing to watch. you have been mellow and generally easy going, but you are always paying attention. since you were a tiny infant, you have watched your sister with intense curiosity, trying to learn everything she does. now that you are starting to walk, you try so hard to keep up with her. you love to experiment with her toys and play the way you've seen her do. you are so quick to smile and a simply game of peekaboo can always get you giggling.

as our second child, i wasn't sure what to expect when you became a part of our lives. the transition into parenthood had already happened, and although moving from a family of three to a family of four did bring a whole new set of challenges, the biggest changes i found were just in getting to know you as an individual. being the mom of a boy is a different sort of bond than that between a mother and a daughter. i am already thinking forward to the man you will one day become and hope i am providing you with the right experiences during your childhood to help mold you into the responsible, caring, compassionate person i imagine you will be.

i cherish the moments in the evening when the house is quiet, your father and sister upstairs getting ready for bed, and you and i are alone in the living room. you are quietly nursing your way to sleep and i am allowed a few uninterrupted minutes to snuggle you in my arms. i gently rub your soft hair or kiss your little nose. i know it won't last forever. after all, you're almost a year old and the time has passed so quickly.

i know that it will feel like no time before i am writing another letter like this on the eve of your second birthday, and i am reminded to savor each and every day. you are my sweet, tiny man and you truly have completed our family.

i love you, more than you will probably ever understand.

mama

posted at 9:18 PM by aimee // 0 comments