our little man

7.24.2006

the big "boy" decision

when adam and i were first pregnant with sophie, before we knew if she was a boy or girl, we realized we would be faced with one big decision for either gender. the "girl" question was what to name her. we'd had our boy name picked out from the beginning, but were having a really hard time finding a girl name that we both loved. if we had a boy, we had to answer the big circumcision question. although maybe not even a question to a lot of families, adam and i had done a lot of research and were really not sure if we wanted to circumcise a son if we had one. of course, we all know that sophie ended up as a girl, and so we never really needed to face the circumcision question for real.

with this pregnancy, adam and i began the discussion again. (we had no girl name this time, either - so we were faced with the same two gender dilemas once again.) we did a lot of research on the issue and did a lot of talking. i think the fact that we were even asking ourselves the question meant that we were leaning toward not circumcising, but we wanted to be sure we were both in total agreement and that we had really thought it through. in the end, our decision came down to the fact that there is really just no need for it. circumcision has become a given for so many people, mostly due to tradition, but there is actually no medical reason for it to be done.

in the past, it was believed that circumcision provided certain health benefits, but today research has shown that as long as a man has good hygiene (as he should regardless if he is intact or not) there is no medical benefit to being circumcised. the american academy of pediatrics official statement regarding circumcision states that the data is "not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision." knowing that there is no medical reason for the procedure (assuming no complications, of course) was nearly all it took for adam and i to make our decision against circumcision. if there's no reason for it, why would we put our child through that? why would we remove a perfectly fine piece of his anatomy if there is no reason? on a very different level, i think i can compare circumcision (with no medical reason) to the piercing of a baby's ears. this is a decision that parents make frequently - and it is their decision to make. however, i would never pierce my daughter's ears. they aren't mine. its not my decision to make. i would never decide to alter her physically for a cosmetic and aesthetic effect. for the same reason, we have decided not to circumcise our son. his body will be perfect as it is, and we see no need to put him through surgery, no matter how routine, without true medical cause.

when making this decision, we did discuss the idea that he will likely look different from many of his peers. although the decision to not circumcise is on the rise in the u.s., we know that we live in a region where it is bound to be the less popular decision. but the truth is that all bodies are different. he will surely wonder why his penis looks different from some other boys in the same way he will wonder why some are taller or shorter, some have curlier or straighter hair, or some have a different skin color. in the end, this argument didn't do much to sway our opinion. it will be a topic we'll have to approach with him from a young age and probably several times throughout his life, but that's fine.

in the end, we feel good about our decision. at first i think we were both a bit nervous about making the less popular choice, but we both feel so strongly that it is the right thing for us. i have no problems discussing it with anyone and would open questions, but i do hope we don't face any judgement or negative comments. the decision is very personal for each parent - as are all parenting decisions - and this is the one that was right for us and our son.

posted at 5:14 PM by aimee // 1 comments